How critical are you of your reflection in the mirror? Do you look at photographs and judge yourself as harshly as I do? The reality is that I’ve been my own harshest critic for years, at least 45 of them! Lately, with the instantaneous feedback of digital photography, I’ve become even worse. I’m sure Brian is tired of having to show me a photo he’s just taken, delete it and retake it until I am satisfied.
In March, as many of you know, we competed in our first ballroom competition. When I look at the photographs, I don’t see a beautiful woman, I see rolls of extra skin left over from weight loss surgery. My pant size says I’ve changed, but I still see myself with the same fat stomach. However, when I show these pictures to others, that isn’t what they say they see. Who is right?
The voice in my head says they are just being kind. My husband, however, says I look beautiful, but I am quick to quash that opinion as soon as he finishes speaking.
I know I am not alone in this.
We either respond to hope with our hearts or we try to push it down. Responding to hope brings a deepened sense of thirst and ache, but it reminds us what it truly means to be a woman.
Will you join me?